Hello everyone and welcome to the first 2016 review from yours truly. I’ve been on a bit of a break to work on a research project that I was hoping I’d be sharing with you, but it turns out what interested me was the tip of a much larger iceberg. So stay tuned. Here’s a hint, it has to do with my love of animation.
I never thought I’d be saying this but Deadpool is a 10 out of 10. I honestly thought that Captain America: Winter Solider was the best Marvel movie ever and never thought they could ever top it. Well this movie delivered. But I should preface this by saying Deadpool might not be for everyone, if crude jokes are not your thing or you really just can’t dive into this superhero craze. I say might because Deadpool isn’t exactly a hero, but to explain why might raise the spoiler flag so I will wait to get into that.
You also don’t have to understand Deadpool before walking into this one. In fact if you don’t understand the tone from the 3 minute introduction where director Tim Miller has replaced the starring cast’s names with “God’s perfect creation,” “A moody teenager,” “A CGI character,” and “A gracious celebrity cameo-” then I really don’t think you’ll be able to get into this one and you should probably leave. Again this movie is not for the easily offended, but I had a ton of fun.
You might only know of Deadpool because it’s starring Ryan Renolds and you might have seen this image around the internet…
This is where we’re going to have to put up the mild spoiler warning. If you’re going to go see it do so now, just leave the kiddies at home. I feel sorry for the four elementary aged kids I saw walk into my screening and I’m not trying to be sexist here but all of them were with their fathers who probably thought, “Oh it’s a superhero movie, that means it must be child friendly.” I have a feeling mommy is going to be seriously pissed off this Valentine’s Day. Even if you haven’t read anything about Deadpool you can see this is an R-rated movie on the poster. “Well if they really didn’t want children to see it then make it NC-17” you argue. But you may not realize most major movie chains will not even show a film if it earns that infamous rating so they really don’t want to do that.
Ok so it’s an R-rated movie it’s got some violence and strong language. You right, but like my passion project you’re only touching the tip of the iceberg. As I said before Deadpool isn’t exactly a hero, he is whatever he feels like being in that moment. If you want his full life before becoming Deadpool you may want to consult the Marvel wiki online but if you just want the short end, he’s a sarcastic asshole who gets cancer and thinking that he has no other option goes to a sketchy medical facility that claims they can cure him. He finds out they’re using people who are at the end of their rope as guinea pigs to try and bring out mutant powers through acts of torture. This is shown in the film and honestly the torture scenes were hard to watch for me as an adult, so heads up.
So this mutation does stop the effects of cancer but leaves Wade horribly disfigured hence the costume and assuming the identity of Deadpool. He wears the color red so you can’t see him bleed because he’s also somewhat immortal now because of how quickly he can heal as a result of the mutation. In fact he can even regrow limbs.
Okay so there are some scary images. What else isn’t child friendly? If your children are highly influential you might not like the language in the film. An example would be when Wade is hitting on a lady by basically trying to outdo her with upsetting childhood stories. He claims he was molested by an uncle, the woman replies with my uncles took turns which will then lead you into one of the funniest sex montages I’ve ever seen, sorry Team America: World Police. Oh and while we’re on the subject part of that sex montage involves the woman wearing a strap on so I mean you might be a progressive parent but even so, I don’t think even you will want to answer an elementary school aged child’s questions about masturbation and pleasuring the prostate gland. And yes, Deadpool masturbates with a stuffed unicorn so I mean really know what you’ve getting into before you expose your children.
When I say children I’m thinking pre-teen and younger. I think a high school age kid can go with their parents because let’s face it, we don’t like this statistic but kids are becoming sexually active between the averages of 15-17 so as a parent you should be answering those kind of questions because I mean you really don’t want the internet to be their teacher. So I would give a yellow light for teens seeing the movie, but if you’re a very conservative family I just would say all of you would be much happier at Kung Fu Panda 3.